The Accumulation of Small Things

For good or for ill, the accumulation of small things greatly affects my outlook on life.   On Christmas morning, my youngest son woke up at 4:00  and refused to go back to sleep.  Well, “refused” is an unfair word because I think he wanted to sleep, but he was so out of his head excited about the gifts under the tree that he just couldn’t do it.  Later, he complained to me that he hates going to sleep and wants to stop doing it because he just has to lie still and do nothing.  I asked him what he thought about when he went to sleep, and he told me that he didn’t think about anything – he was asleep, after all.  “I just dream and see lots of black stuff” he said.  Makes sense.  In any event,  by the time the legitimate wake-up time arrived, I was exhausted and ornery during the “most wonderful time of the year” as my kids  ripped into their much anticipated gifts.  That was one small thing.

Another small thing – my digital camera has stopped talking to my computer.  Previously, when I plugged it in, a program would open automatically, download my pictures and place them in files by date.  For some reason, either my camera or my computer decided to stop their cooperative relationship.  My calls to the Costco “concierge” and our resulting conference call with Canon’s help line resulted in both IT representatives saying “really sorry, but we can’t fix that.” 

Then, my Sony video camera software decided to stop burning DVD’s.  Again, it used to be easy.  I’d select videos that I’d downloaded to my computer, select “burn DVD”, and 45 minutes later “voila!”, a cherished DVD full of family memories.  Now, I get an unhelpful, ambiguous “error occurred” message every time.  So much for keeping a video record of our family memories.   Oh well, people did without video for most of human history, so I’ll survive.  Still, it’s another small thing.

Then, there’s the fact that until yesterday the weather had been persistently gray and rainy for what seemed weeks.  We need the rain, but my mood had started to match the gloomy skies.  Another small thing.

The accumulation of those negative small things put me in a pretty serious funk. 

Then again, maybe it was the fact that all of those small things occurred against the backdrop of some bigger things.  2008 was not a banner year professionally.  I represent clients who work in commercial real estate, and trading was very slow this year.  2009 looks to be worse.  What work we do have is dealing with distressed assets and stressed clients.  As I track the steady drumbeat of horrific economic  news, my naturally pessimistic mind wanders to absurdities like how I can find sources of food following the breakdown of  our social infrastructure.  Maybe I can catch some of the abundant rabbits in our yard and start breeding.  Or, if we can hold out until spring, maybe we can cultivate a large portion of our yard.   Oh, the dark places my natural mind can go.

But then, the accumulation of positive small things can bring my perspective back into balance.  I ran Sunday afternoon and again this morning.  After putting on a few holiday pounds and falling off the exercise wagon for awhile, it felt good to push back against my physical decline.  Last night, I had dinner at my in-laws and we laughed and had great conversation. This morning, after my run, I sat down for breakfast with my sleep-resistant son and watched him gleefully consume some cereal, staring at me with a goofy smile on his face and asking me why I had to go to work.  He drives me crazy, but I love that kid.   And this morning the sun is out and the sky is blue.  Things look less bleak today.

In John’s gospel, he quoted Jesus, who said of times to come, “Therefore, you too have grief now, but I will see you again, and your heart will rejoice, and no one will take your joy away from you…These things I have spoken to you so that in Me you may have peace. In the world you have tribulation, but take courage, I have overcome the world.”  (John 16: 22, 33)  When I hear those words, I tend to limit their application to someone experiencing “real” affliction, but I think that God is mindful of the accumulation of small things and how they affect us, the thorns and toil of a fallen world.  In afflictions great and small, we can take heart that the day is coming when no one can take our joy.  Reflecting on the greater things that await can take the sting out of my current trials, but sometimes it takes a blue sky to remind me.

But in the meantime, if anyone has a notion as to how I can fix my computer, I’d still appreciate a call.

 

On the Video Below

Work is busy, so blogging will probably be light this month.  Hopefully, this video recap of our year can tide you over for the time being.  I was disappointed in the video quality, because the original photos and footage are pretty stellar for the most part.  I was especially disappointed that the text is so difficult to read.  But, hopefully you can get the gist and join me in celebrating a great year.  With all the gloom and doom inundating us from all sides, it’s good to appreciate the simpler and significant things.

 

TIP: FOR A SUPERIOR VIEWING EXPERIENCE, CLICK THE LINK ABOVE RATHER THAN THE PLAYER BELOW, THEN SELECT “WATCH IN HIGH QUALITY” JUST BELOW THE RIGHT SIDE OF THE VIEWER.  IT’S MUCH SHARPER.

 

The Peterson Year in Review: 2008

via YouTube – the Peterson year in review 2008.wmv

 

It’s Not Christmas Eve, It’s Monday

Or at least it feels that way.  When I was a kid, Christmas Eve was actually a bigger day for me than Christmas.  I am of Swedish/Danish descent and was born in Minnesota.   Frankly, I don’t know if my ethnic heritage has anything to do with my childhood Christmas traditions, but I grew up opening gifts on Christmas Eve, as did the rest of my family, so I assume it had to do with Vikings, milking cows or cold Minnesota mornings because we’re apparently the only people in the world who do that.  We’d dress up, have a big dinner, wait for the dishes to be done, we’d read the Christmas story from the Bible, and then the gift-opening would commence.  Christmas Eve was magical, electric with anticipation, and the most sacred and untouchable day of the year. 

Over time, the sacred and untouchable nature of my Christmas Eves has dwindled a bit.  Most of us who are grown have had the sobering experience of realizing that most workplaces don’t take two weeks off for Christmas.   Then I lost my Christmas traditions in the marriage, and we now open our gifts on Christmas morning.  I deal with the additional pressure of practicing law in an area that is particularly busy at year end,  and often work on Christmas Eve.   Today I billed several hours while reviewing enthralling documents associated with rural shopping centers. 

Because it’s my busy time of year, I woke up at 5:30 or earlier every day last week, and rolled into the office to work a long day, returning home between 9:00 and 10:00, sleeping a bit, and repeating the cycle.  I’ve missed a school musical, neighborhood caroling, and many of the little traditions in our family that lead up to the big day.  Late Friday evening I found myself arguing with a client, loading up paralegals and associates with assignments that they have to accomplish during their vacations, and wondering what happened to my magical Christmas Eves.

I never have to look at my life all that long to spot an idol, and the latest to be unveiled is “Christmas Spirit.”  That saccharine sentiment has become the core of our national holiday.  Even when popular culture exhorts us to look beyond gifts to the “real meaning” of Christmas, that “real meaning” is typically embodied in some token act of superficial selflessness, which is rarely selfless at all.

Those who study such things generally agree that Christ was not born anywhere near December 24.  But through various accidents of history, that’s become the date when we celebrate his birth.  The accuracy of the date isn’t important to me, but the fact that my family truly celebrate his birth is very important.  And so I need to remind myself that Christmas is not only not about gifts, it’s also not about warm feelings, family, “the season of giving”, a nice meal, or a light workload and low stress.  It is about Him, or it should be. 

In a few minutes I am going to leave my office and meet the family at church.  It will be beautiful with hundreds of poinsettias, a large orchestra and capped-off with candlelight and an acapella carol, but even those things are only good insofar as they direct me upward.

Jesus came as God incarnate, as had been prophesied since times more ancient than I can fathom.  I am a happy beneficiary of that fulfilled promise.  There was nothing sentimental about his arrival.  I’m sure that Bethlehem was full of stench, chaos and stress.  And he came with the ultimate aim of dying.  Today has felt, until this point, like an ordinary Monday.  And it is an ordinary Monday, except that more people than usual will at least take a moment to reflect on the wondrous moment when God humbled himself to become a man and dwelt among us.

 

An Open Christmas Letter

My experience with the video Christmas card that I posted earlier has been all too reminiscent of my general experience in life.  I started out with grand ambitions including a theme, video, moving music, and a clever voice-over narrative to wrap it all together.  But alas, lack of knowledge, time, and computer memory forced me to reduce the scope of my project.  In the end, I still ended up with a 78 MB slide show that included video and music, but virtually none of the sites I tried could host it effectively, and it was too large a file to email, so I reduced the size by half.  At least I still had the music.  Now that I finally figured it all out, the music doesn’t play.  If you have the patience to wait for the download, just play some Christmas-themed music of your own in the background, and you’ll get the idea.

The year has been wonderful and terrible. It has been busy and still.  That’s life though, isn’t it?    If we lose sight of the fact that all of those things are generally going on simultaneously in our lives, our perception becomes warped in one way or the other – we either fail to embrace the joys sprinkled generously throughout our lives, or we fail to recognize and address the trials that come. 

Though my attempts in large part failed, I received tremendous benefit from putting this slideshow together, in both its grand and abbreviated versions.  I tend to come from the “glass is half empty” side of the human equation, and looking through our photographs of the year forces me to recognize how abundant and blessed is this life I’ve been given. 

Socrates is reported to have said “The unexamined life is not worth living.”  True enough I suppose, but I suspect that many examined lives aren’t worth that much either, at least in the eyes of the examiner.  I think that the greater satisfaction, perhaps the only lasting satisfaction in life, comes from examining our mortal toil and recognizing that we are indeed working for some greater purpose, to some end that will endure.  It is not measured in the sum of our possessions, or in a listing on one of the many honor rolls we establish for ourselves, but in an abiding in our creator.  An abiding that results in fruit that will remain. 

As others view the pictures in my slide show, they may see cute kids, a beautiful wife and a middle-aged man desperately clinging to his youth by running races.  I see fruit.  Today at lunch my brother-in-law asked my 9-year-old son to define grace, and without hesitation he said “it’s getting a gift you don’t deserve.”  My two year old, who can say little, often says “God is a promise maker and a promise keeper.”  Of all my endeavors, I am convinced that it is my small role in pointing others toward the truth that will endure.  Perhaps that and nothing else.  Christ said that that if we abide in him, and he in us, we will bear fruit that remains.  I’m still sorting out exactly what that means, thus the name of this blog.  But in 2007, I think I got a little closer to the truth.

Thanks again to all of you that I’ve met, and those few I haven’t who have taken the time to read this post.  God bless you, and may you all receive and drink deeply of the one gift that remains for eternity.

 

The Peterson 2007 Video Christmas Card

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I’m trying this again after some failed attempts.  Here is a recap of our wonderful year.  Many thanks and blessings to all of you who were a part of it.